Wow it has been sooo long that i din blog le.... lol....

Hmm currently have a wonderful life.... Have a wonderful boyfriend, wonderful families and wonderful friends... Although alot of things happen but i still glad that every1 is still with me....

My beloved has been so busy till no time for me... so sad... since she changed her job she is soooo busy... Even my dar is asking where is beloved... hmm....

Times passes so fast... now already mar 2011... 3 months just gone.... another 3 months Im going overseas with dar and frenz.. hehe... but before i head off to KL... I need to meet my beloved to celebrate her bday and her bf bday...

Got to crack my head where to bring them go... hmm... cannot write here wait she know where I will be bringing her... haha...

Anyway Sat just heard from my bestie that 1 of my sec sch classmate give birth to a baby gal on FRI... Congrats to her and happy for her.....

28 Aug 10



After so long today throw temper at beloved... I feel sorry that i hang her phone... A big hoha abt the passport.... Ended up the passport is with... so sorry that i have make mistake that i tot it was with mummy... I think I scare her that she tot was ppl who took it away....


Hmm... Y am i still dreaming of him recently... the dream is like so real... I dreamt that we are back tgt.... I know that it is becoz i kept thinking thats why i will have this dream....


Went to read beloved blog den i know that today was his birthday.... hmm it has been years that he left us... really sad that this happen so sudden... still rem how beloved was when he left her... I know she could not accept and i know is hard for her to strong.... But now that i know she have make it... saw beloved wrote a message for me on her blog.... I cried.... really... tears drop off like tap water..... I just cant off it....


Beloved


I dunno what i have done wrong for him to dump me... just becoz i shouted at him ?? or he actually in love with her le... thats y he dun wan me ??? I really dunno when he like her ?? when i was at overseas ?? but y when im back that time he treated me so gd ?? becoz guilty ?? or his feelings for her is after we quarrel ?? i also have alot of questions in my mind too....


Not that i dun wanna tell u anything... I know u urself also busy with ur things... I just dun wan to disturb u all.... I really tried my best to let go and wanted to try out new r/s but really cant... coz i couldn't let go how can i just start a new r/s... Sometimes i felt so unfair to me... i know that we cant compare each other... but i dun understand y he wanna hurt me so much.... I really hurt soooo much that u all dunno.... the things that he had said to me and everything.... I din force him to apply flat with me.... he say the location is gd easy to access facing expressway he said we need to plan coz is for us to stay for years not months... he promised that he wont leave me de... I really prepare that i will married him but ended up he dun wan me le.... Do u know that now I went to the house that we have applied and it already built up to 3 storey le... u know how sad i am ? Yes i know he already changes and he is now happy with what he have...




The above is what i had wrote on 28 aug which have yet to be publish....



12 Sept 10



Today went to my 2nd uncle house coz my cousin is getting married today... later will be going for his dinner at hilton hotel.... Saw them get married really make me sad... not becoz of them but is becoz of my personal problem... as i think if him again............



Beloved I din know that u all along know that who is the gal... and u have nv even mention to me at all... I know that everyone just wanna keep it from me... coz u all know that once i know im sure to be sad... True enough i cried and feel so sad.... I even asked myself am i a spare tyre for him ?? Did he ever loved me b4 ?? 我真的很天真的以为他会回来。Now that I see the whole picture le... 原来我不是他想要找的那个女孩，我只是他人生的过路人。我想谢谢你给了我一个美好的回忆。

Have been staying at beloved house from ytd and will only be going back hm on sunday... Just cooked seashell spagetti for dinner hehe... quite nice.. lol...



Finally tml is friday.... Can get some rest on sat liao haha... this sat will have a mini house warming for beloved house coz her frenz will be here for steamboat.. hehe so i stay over to help out... actually i have an event with my frenz but i think got to postpone le... coz 1 of them need to do asignment... anyway not cfm yet but need to wait till joey back tml den we will know are we still meeting.... Tml work half day den the half day i need to go recce for our welfare event... hmm hopefully no rain... hehe...



Message to dear dear :



Hmm tried not to hate him ok... If you happen to see him i just hope that you will smile at him or talk to him... dun wan becoz of me u den u all become 敌人。 Now I know that he live his life with his loved one so happy I also happy for him... As for me i tried to open up myself but dunno somehow it closed it itself... I promised that i would let go.. but this really take times... 毕竟和他在一起这么久，也一起经过很多风风雨雨。

I will leave to fate abt my Mr Right... No worries i will still make frenz ard de... but now i just dun wish to have any commitment... maybe the time is not right...

Today is my office final sports event... went to have 4 X 100 relay with june, joey and linda... We get 2nd place.. haha still last la coz only 2 teams only lol... After e event went to mess to have our lunch... Went back office and i received his sms... he asking me tonight free ma coz he need to take back his army pant, car key and etc.... I replied him and say i might need to work ot might not be able to make it sorry... later awhile I email darling asking will she be staying back to work ot she say no so i sms him and say ok meet abt 0730 can ma he say ok...

Went hm to find the army pant after work but i still cant find....

My heart jin pain... I see the things he return me really jin sad... the photos we that i give him and the photo we took he all return me... I dunno how am i going to let go.. to me really very diffcult leh i tried but really very hard... my heart really pain lo..... I told myself when i meet him i cant cried... but once we apart i endure.... but ended up i still cried.... tears will auto drop down... although for me to see him is an happy things but i just cant control myself... i really love him very much... but y we cant be together... y i dun treasure that time... i had 1 more chance before y i still reacted like that... am i stupid or what... sometimes i really hope that all this nv happen at all...

now what i can do is to bless him and his gf all the best... i know i need super long to keep him in my memory...

I tot that im the lucky gal coz i have a bf who loved me as i loved him... We even went to apply flat tgt and that will be our dream house for both of us... I nv ask him to change his bad habit becoz of me coz i know it will be difficult for him to do so... so i tell myself in order not to ask him change i change to accept everything that he does... People always say if u like the person you will like his bad habit too... But these lucky days have come to an end on 23 April 2010... He choose to end our 3.3 years relationship.... It was so sad that i can't accept everything.. I cried and i keep on thinking that he will be back to me soon.. but now that i have known that he actually attached on the day that he broke up with me... that hurts me alot... what he say keep appears on my mind... Those words are so hurtful to me.. Sometimes im asking myself why i need to go thru this... Am I that bad that he cant live with ? I know that my temper is a problem for him to accept me... I know it is very hard for me to let go the relationship but now I have no choice and I have to let go. Maybe letting it go does not seems a bad thing... For him will be good...

I can't hope much what I hope now is that the gal can love him like how I used to love him... miss him like hos i used to miss him.... worry abt him like how i worry abt him but not to the extend... treaure and cherish him alothough im not gd in it.... dote him like i dote him... dun hurt him like i used to do.... take care of him like how I used to do... Hope she will rem what food he dun like and like and food that he can't eat.... Dun always quarrel with him... trust him more and sometimes let him have his free time to do his things... Dun tie him so tight as he dun like...

I have told myself although it is hard to forget him but deep inside my heart he is the one that I love most and will keep inside my memories forever...

Dear Dear i know that u will read my blog I really hope that you can relax urself and please dun hate him... In relationship there isn't any right or wrong... What I can say is he tried his best to accept me but maybe to him it is really difficult and he might not see any future in us so the best way is to go seperate way... 我只可以说我做的不够好。我老是弄他不开心和弄他生气久了也会厌倦的。你也知道我也有错对吗？我也不是一个好人吧。。。 Can we just blessed him and his gf... 以平常心对待好吗？

Was told by my sis that today dun need to open shop coz ytd i have been working e whole day.... so I slept till abt 1pm den woke up... had my lunch and watch scv at living room den at abt 3 plus went back to my room to continue to watch my drama series till abt 6 plus den headed out to parkway parade for dinner with my parents, bro and his gf... Had steamboat for our dinner den after that walk awhile and headed back hm...

Had dream abt him.. In the dream I rem he was telling me that I din not sad that we had broken up but I told him I kept crying all day and kept thinking how much I wish to get back with him... just that I dunno how to put it to him.... End up we get back together and I was so happy and I cried when hugging him... When I wake up den I notice it was just a dream to me... I really wish that i was not dreaming coz I really hope that would have happen to me and him and we can happily stay tgt for our whole life... This is what I want.... and deep inside my heart I already know what is the answer... =(

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